Mary Alice Eckman, North Carolina, USA    
Daughter is a numerary. 
Interviewed by The Cresta Group, March 8, 2006

Photo:  Mary Alice and her husband Dr. Thomas Eckman
 
Interviewer:  Tell me about your daughter Mary Elise and tell me about how she came to this location, when she told you about it, and how you reacted.
 
Mary Alice Eckman:  I knew that Mary Elise was in some type of religious organization within college, which is normal.  I didn’t know much about it, and we were sitting having lunch one day in a sidewalk café in Washington, D.C. because it’s etched in my mind when she said, I will not be coming home after graduation.  And I can just remember thinking it’s not possible, you have to come home.  I think my husband sort of had an inkling; she might have told him and I wasn’t listening. 
 
Anyway, it was really very difficult at first not to have her return as all parents selfishly want them to return and it seemed as though she was throwing her life away. Not really throwing it away, but we didn’t understand what she was going to be doing; but then over time, as we began to see what she was doing, meet other people, visit some centers, we began to understand it a little bit.  Yes, there were times when it was hard because she wasn’t home for this celebration or that celebration, but over a period of time we really began to appreciate it, understand it, and give her our love and support.
 
Interviewer:  So you’ve had a lot of experience with Opus Dei?
 
Mary Alice Eckman:  I have known about Opus Dei for about 22 years because I think that’s when Mary Elise first joined Opus Dei back in college. I didn’t know much about it then.  Our experience has been based on personal relationships with the women and with the priests. We’ve enjoyed their company.
 
We saw what they were doing and how beautiful it was, and when we were on vacation at our summer home in New Buffalo, Michigan, the women who were at Shellbourne Conference Center attending a retreat or conference would come to swim, water ski, and or do whatever. We’d have cookouts, and they’d bring out their guitars and sing, and we began to realize, these were absolutely beautiful people.
 
And then we had the unfortunate experience of two of the women, getting caught in an undertow and drowning at our place.  That was a really traumatic day.  The phone lines had been cut accidentally so it turned into a horror thing.  But my husband and I went to the hospital, we were there with one of the ladies who eventually passed away, and the other one was brought in.  So we went through the Funeral Mass with them, the wake, the burial, and then the family of one came over and went back to the lake.  So we’ve had that experience of them losing somebody.
 
We’ve also had the opportunity to visit a number of their centers in Boston, Washington, Chicago and Virginia.  Through the years we’ve just grown to love these people.  We have the privilege of attending Mass with them and we’ve had breakfast with them.
 
I guess, we found that their inward beauty shines out; that every single one of them is so beautiful, and we really think it’s a wonderful thing. My husband said, the pope has a great silent army in Opus Dei.
 
And we have found too that they have never pushed us to do anything, nor has Mary Elise ever pushed any of her cousins into it.
 
The other thing we do is every three months two women come who give spiritual formation to people in the Charlotte and Raleigh area, they stay at our house. They’ve been doing that -our house has been open to them- for about six or seven years.  We have a tremendous time with them.  They’re really interesting women, we have great conversations that have nothing to do with religion necessarily, we talk about everything; these are well-rounded people.  They’re so diverse and have so many interests and do so many things.
 
Interviewer:  What kind of professional work does your daughter do?

Mary Alice Eckman: She’s Director of all of the Women’s Centers in the United States. 
 
Interviewer:  You know, parents who encounter their child’s vocation, whether it be to Opus Dei or some other [group], often have fears and doubts and concerns.  What would you say to them?
 
Mary Alice Eckman:  Don’t be fearful. I think it’s tremendously rewarding to have somebody you know attempting to do good and is an example to the rest of the world.  It’s not losing the child.
 
Interviewer:   So your daughter is a happy person?
 
Mary Alice Eckman:  She is a happy person and we’re extremely proud of her.
 
Interviewer:   Did your worst fears come true?  I mean not seeing her?
 
Mary Alice Eckman:  No, because we have many occasions to visit.  In fact, her Grandmother lived in New Jersey, and we would visit both about every six weeks.  So we would pop in and see the women and the joke is, they’ll have a room for us soon.  No, we end up seeing her a lot, talking to her a lot. We have not lost her by any means.
 
Interviewer:  And you always hear how secretive Opus Dei is?
 
Mary Alice Eckman:  That’s the part that just really astounds me because we’ve seen them under so many circumstances. I’ve found nothing secretive about them.  We have visited many centers and, they seem very open.  I don’t know what this secretiveness is that people speak of.  It’s probably because they’re low-keyed, they never go out carrying banners like some people do, you don’t see them protesting.  They do it by example, which is what all of us should be doing; giving example, because many times when you preach, no one listens to you.