Former numerary: " I left Opus Dei during college."

For almost fours years in the mid 1980s, I was a numerary member of Opus Dei. I knew God had a calling for me and I clearly sensed it was a lay vocation to total dedication (apostolic celibacy) and I also knew that I was not meant to be a priest or brother. Over the course of my last year in high school and first years few years of college, I developed and grew spiritually. I started to pray, go to Mass, say the rosary and became more apostolic which meant caring whether my friends were close to God or not. I studied hard and got very good grades. It was challenging for me because I was living a life of dedication in the middle of the world; I didn’t date either, a tough choice in college. It was also exhilarating to think that I was called to be a modern apostle; me, a modern St Peter or St Paul?     

The people in Opus Dei were a real family, very much like my own. There was sincere affection and care down to the last detail. Clearly, St Josemaria knew how important it was for his spiritual sons and daughters to live family life well. I could write a small book on all the amazing (and very human) moments during this time; almost all were extremely positive memories, ones I cherish to this day.     

At the same time, it was also becoming clearer to me that God wanted me to live a life of marriage—a vocation of total dedication of another sort, I soon learned. Though it was a tough decision to leave Opus Dei, I never felt any pressure from other members to stay. Clearly they didn’t want me to leave but I knew from them that they wanted what was best for me and for me to be happy; I am friends with many of them to this day. I recall that I was told from the very beginning: “it is hard to get into Opus Dei, but easy to leave.”  For the most part that was very true. What they didn’t tell me is that now, looking back, how much I would truly appreciate the care for my personal and spiritual growth they gave me.     

One cannot imagine or find—it is very, very hard—a group of individuals that are more concerned with seeing you become a saint. The closest you can get is memories of family life growing up. That’s why people in Opus Dei are so lucky, they have two families, their natural families and their spiritual family Opus Dei! This is the most amazing aspect about the people I have met in Opus Dei: how they truly love one another.     

The reason I was able to rejoin Opus Dei later in my life as a married supernumerary member was—among other reasons—that God, through members I still knew, was still calling me after many years to sanctity; He would not give up on me and His children in Opus Dei that are personal friends of mine gently (very gently) reminded me that God still has great plans for all of us.     

To this day I want to thank everyone in Opus Dei for what they have done for me, for my wife and for my children. To a great extent, I am the person I am today because of their love and correspondence to God’s grace. This has been and continues to be what Christ promised to Peter many centuries ago: one hundred fold on this earth; the life everlasting part in Heaven is still my goal.